3 posts in 1 night..

Thought I might as well post this up. Something not very nice.

Cos I am BOTHERED. Freaking bothered and disappointed again at JJ's latest 'demands'.

So he said I must understand that there is a particular kind of girl he is attracted to, and that I shouldn't dress the way I like, but dress the way that will appeal to him. Bloody hell, if I am not the type that appeals to him, then DON'T chase me months ago and make my life miserable now right??? RIGHT???

So what does he want now?

I been wearing pants too much. He likes short denim skirts. I don't ever hear him say anything nice when I wear skirts and dresses. Why would I want to wear more of them? Zero encouragement only receives criticisms.

Out of the blue, he suggested that I should put on eye makeup like eyeshadow etc.. I wonder, which pretty babe he saw whose eye makeup looked so seductive that he's asking me to do the same. I used to put on eye makeup, the full works in the past. On such occasions, he would either criticise or laugh at me. He never had anything nice to say.Why would I want to put on again right? Now, he's asking me to do it. I can just cry loh.. What an idiotic bf I have.

Next, Lotsa lacey underwear and lotsa G-strings. What a piece of shit my bf is to make such requests.

He's also attracted to all the boobsy Singaporean girls. He, himself, promised me not to watch porn again, and repeatedly said he doesn't and would scold me if I do not believe. But, well, he really still does dig those stuff. He's still into the porn shit, I found out. Initially, he wasn't the least bit apologetic. I wasn't angry or very upset.. I was jaded. JADED that he lied again.. he has to disgust me time and again. He has to disappoint me time and again. Why must he lie?? It's not so much of the porn thing, since almost every guy is into porn. I can't break up with him just because of this reason cos I won't find another guy who doesn't have this problem. But, he just proved to me that I cannot trust him. He will never change. He will never be honest with me.
He tried to argue the above.. He tried to argue that there are girls he will be attracted to, which I should understand. Suggested that I should change to suit his liking.

I'm tired..i'm not young anymore. I'm sick of not meeting anyone that's really my Mr Right. I blame myself for my lack of foresight in choosing bfs. There's so much to lose if I give up on JJ. I'm a little stuck here. I'm really sad..I'm really tired..I'm really bothered with his lack of honesty and his demands that I should change myself to suit his liking. Have I ever complained that he's always wearing the same clothes? Cos it's not important. Does he think that he's really perfect and there's nothing he need to change at all, but there are so much I should change about myself? I'm kinda hurt too. In fact, I cried.. It was the first time I cried in front of him. I forgave him anyway.. but I'm still bothered, Very much bothered.

The movie thingy. :)

1)Total Number of Films I own on DVD and Video
2)Last Film I bought
3)Films I Like A Lot

I don't like the categories. Difficult to answer for me. I improvise, k?


Movies that left a deep impression
1) Elf (Happy X'mas Show in 2003. I was totally absorbed in the movie)
2) Coyote Ugly (Hongkong 2002. Special significance to me. Don't let me hear Leanne Rimes' Don't Fight the Moonlight. All bring back sad memories.)

Movies I would definitely try to watch
Anything starring

Nicole Kidman,
Sandra Bullock and
Sammi Cheng.

starring Nicole Kidman is her latest show that I like. Looking forward to her next Witchy show which she would be co-starring with they guy who starred in my favourite movie Elf. :) Lovely.

Hey dearies.. So many things have been happening to me. Good and Bad. But I will just blog about my first blogdate - so very belated. :)

So, I thought there might never be a meeting in the near future if I do not do something about it. Surprisingly and luckily, everything turned out so well. No difficult organising and we all met up as planned. :) There were Tempest Blue, Orange, Wendy and me. (A little background. We 'knew' each other for about 2 years, but Tempest Blue and Orange are long- time friends)

Having read how Tempest was concious of what he wore and his fresh zit at chin which I did not notice at all, I shall admit that I was a little concious of my appearance that day too. I was rather concious of my dry skin caused by my current facial regimen and my extremely frizzy hair. The skin, the hair, the teeth -- my constant woes. :( aarghh

Anyway, when I arrived at CityHall, Wendy and Tempest were there. Tempest looks as young as a JC boy, despite doing his PHD now. I had always imagined him to be tall, thin, fair, bespectacled, solemn, but he looks tanned, active and friendly. (Not Siew Mai lah.) Wendy's prettier than what she is in all her photos (many many of them). The more I look at her, the prettier I think she is. haha.. The image she portrays to me through her blog, msn conversations, friendster etc is different from her personal self. She seems totally calm and collected at all times. Seems like a great conversationalist who can get along with lotsa people. Seems very mature?! haha.. Anyway, I enjoy the girlie talk with her. Guess I feel that there's a lot I can talk to her about.

We went Cafe Cartel -- most convenient for social gathering. Honestly, I still loathe the food there. :p Let's not go there again, ever, ok? :) Being the only guy present, Tempest was all gentlemanly helping us with the baguette, drinks, orders, DOORS and all.

Orange later arrived. Just before we met, I had hopped over to her blog to check out her photos. So I had a rough idea of how she looks like in person. When we met, she looked a little fierce to me. :) She suggested we go Suntec and we popped by the boutique I was previously working at. Had arranged to get my CDs back from that 'scary colleague' of mine. She said she forgot and never mentioned anything about returning to me another day. Until now, I hear nothing from her. IT's been months and the CDs are precious to me. Tell ya, I think she has no intention of returning them to me. I want to cry liao lah. Anyway, all three of them mistook my 'scary colleague' for a guy.

We went Starbucks. I secretly hoped that they would go Balaclava(whatever the spelling). haha.. But, well we went Starbucks and had comfy couches to ourselves. Orange's like a group conversation facilitator. At one point of time, she spiced up the chat with her quzzical (I can't remember the exact term). We are to think of what flower/dimsum/shop that is most representative of each of us. Orange suggested that I would make a daisy, cos I'm kinda sweet. Wendy agreed that I would make a daisy too. *beams* I don't think I am sweet, but I attempted to show off to JJ that I think I just received a compliment that I am kinda sweet. He kept laughing but not want to comment. Tsk, I know he disagrees. Humph! We couldn't quite concur as to what dimsum I was. Orange suggested YouTiao cos long and thin. I think, I would make a Char Siew Pau. Cos I like Char Siew PAu and my face looks like a Pau. JJ thought so too, before I even state my own opinion. Then, I'm a coffeeshop. I can be both cafe style or kopitiam style.

Orange seems very opinionated, tough and intelligent. Forgot to ask her how it is like to be an editor. I think it's a totally cool job.

I like it that none of us said stuff like we want to go off earlier, even though they all had work the next morning. Everytime I go out, I just want to stay out and enjoy, and not go home so soon.

By the way, even though I'm a coffee lover, I think I really shouldn't drink coffee when I am out with friends in future. I get totally RESTLESS after coffees! I would be restless and my mind not thinking properly after I drink them. People would think I look tired and unhappy. Happens all the time. Read that caffiene perks you up for a little while only to make you feel even more lethargic after a while.

This is my brief account of what happened that day.

Freak!

My mother wants to buy me a health insurance plan..

There would be some details I have to fill in the forms, which she should never know!!!!!

My excuse, " I prefer to buy from my good friend who's also an insurance agent. I already bought an investment plan from her before."

Actually, I don't really want to buy from my friend either.. I get more perks buying from other agents.

Whatever it is.. I have to buy it myself without my mother's knowledge.

The ringing of my handphone really gets on my nerves.. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it. Especially when it disrupts my beauty sleep. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it. Especially that it sounds so piercing and awful. I hate it. Gonna put it on beep mode until I buy a new mobile phone. HUMPH

No wonder my girlfriends know better than to call me during bedtime. Don't wake me when I am sleeping. I'm terribly grouchy when someone disturbs my sleep.

It's so awful that I am actually blogging about it.

***

I don't wake up at 6am.. but my neighbours' kids like to make a helluva noise at 6am. I don't wake up at 8am, but the renovation works start at 8am.. It's 2pm. The kids are still crying, if not playing very loudly. The renovation works upstairs are still going on..

Going to bathe and run out of the house...

***

I have nothing happy to say recently... There is, actually. Yesterday's meeting was one happy time. Blog about it later.

I reached home at 12 plus at night yesterday. Dug out some of my art n craft plus kiddy stuff (loads of them). Even my Winnie the Pooh wooden cd rack. Gonna put them in carton boxes and bring to the centre. I call it a centre. It's not a shop right? I'm not selling any products.

NOISE --- I don't like.

Going to bathe and run out of the house

My Blogdate's on tmr.. If we really meet without fail tmr, then I think it's really quite unusual. You know how it is to get 4 people (3 busy, 1 quite free) who don't know each other to meet. Schedules are likely to crash and all..It's hard to believe how smooth the organising is, when I didn't even have their mobile numbers or emails or msn to start with..

I betcha keep my mouth shut.. What if my mama needs me to do something at the very last minute tmr night??? Keep my fingers crossed. I must be present tmr! :p

My face is coarse from all the peeling caused by the current facial products I use, which means makeup would look absolutely ugly on me, which means I cannot put on make up.. Without makeup, I prefer to stay at home and hide my face from the world. :) Don't care.. I still will be there tmr..

****

I love going to SUPERMarkets. :) Especially if I'm going with my mom, sis or bf. But seldom do I get to go supermarket shopping with them. I long for those outings with family members, even my extended family members like my aunties and cousins.. Hardly..

Earlier, I went there alone. It's bad to go out alone. I don't know what's wrong with me today. I went out to ToaPayoh Central, and spent quite alot.. More than 50 bucks in half hour --- more than 10 items of purchase.

I'm really quite a boring read hor? My life's like that.. I'm so bored of it.. I miss those days when I have so many close friends when we would go out and have fun a few times a week.. My life started dulling in Uni...

Moody.. PMS ?? :)

btw.. pms is not a common female EXCUSE.. it really happens and isn't quite within our control.

I read people's birthday posts, and feel bad about my own birthdays. :(

My 21st birthday sucks. Maybe because I didn't hold a party or something.

Actually, does it matter?

Does it matter that I didn't receive loads of presents on my birthdays? I do like to receive present leh.. :(

Nevermind.. I will make my 25th Birthday, 29th Birthday and 30th Birthday BIGBIGBIG ones.. :)

The grouchy one continues

I loathe HDB flats!!!!!!

My bedroom faces the corridor that I can hear everything everyone who walks by says. I can hear the electronic lift voice "informing", "Going up," or "Going down." I can hear my neighbours in their house!! I mean, they are in their house, why can I hear exactly what they say? Maybe they aren't gentle refined people like me.. tsk. Their one spoilt little daughter makes a hell lot of noise every morning, day and night. Now, they have a new addition -- a crying infant. Much as I love children, theirs are really unlovable. Because their kids are unlovable, it's extra painful to have to put up with this noise everyday for years.

Just to illustrate how irritating their first kid has been. She comes to my house and play with my lovely little cousins. She is a sore loser during play and would scream and *gasp* HIT my cousins! My cousins would hit her back. Then she would go crying telling everyone in the house that my cousins hit her. They don't want to play with her and she would go complain and cry that my cousins MUST play with her. Irritating specimen. Oh.. she loves to play her drum set at 6am every morning too..

Maybe, you think it's too immature of me to hold it against a kid. Wait till you live here, and you have to put up with her nonsense everyday for years. I always wonder why those walls doesn't seem to block out much noise. Another HDB flat thing.. There seems to be endless renovation and construction work going on. More noise. If it's not my block, it will be the dozens of neighbouring blocks.. It's not just my HDB block. JJ's is as noisy. My previous flats were as bad too. Whatever. I condemn all these noisy flats.

Anyway, I would be moving to stay with the other half of my family in the West very soon. Away from all this HDB noise. Kills me loudly.

Sometimes, or rather very often, I hear people declaring their verdicts on movies they have watched. They go something like "I tell you, the movie sucks, don't watch it!" plus a little elaboration. Or, "It's really good, go watch it!" yadayadayada... They always pass on their movie reviews like they are the ultimate truth.

The ultimate truth is that everyone has different tastes for movies! So, don't go imposing on others your own opinions. You think it sucks, doesn't mean it really sucks and that everyone else shouldn't waste money to watch it, and vice-versa.

When people asked me for my opinion of certain movies I have watched. I would briefly say what I think, but I would add a disclaimer that we all have different tastes, so don't read too much into my words. I wouldn't do any strong encouraging or discouraging like many would.

Another similar case would be CLOTHES. Almost all the girls think that they have one of the best tastes around.

**

The new Organics shampoo smells like Lavenus shampoo. I ditched the P**T*** extra moisturizing shampoo which is really unsuitable for me. I suffered worrying rate of hair loss and extra frizzy hair. Zero moisture has been infused into my hair. My new Hope is the brown bottle of ORganics for STRONG n LONG hair.. haha.. Btw, did I just say something illegal and commited a crime for defaming that brand of shampoo? Bleah... whatever lah...

I love the sound of heavy downpour...Why does it rain heavily in the night but shine scorchingly in the day off late..?

I just did a little little organising for my first blogdate.

Nobody ever ask me out, and I doubt it will ever happen.

So, I shall ask pple out.

It's highly likely that they will be busy and not be able to make it though.

Now, what was I thinking when I wrote the previous entry?

I haven't gone for my bath (to simmer down) yet.. but it's weird how suddenly, I don't really care about what she wrote anymore. I quite enjoy reading her stories until she revealed her goal of doing good for the society by uping (is there this word) the threshold for our social mores or something. Quite irritating. But, it wasn't really about her (the SPG), it's about some others I was reading just before I read hers actually. For my own good, I shall not divulge.

Have I told u that my blogname "satin" gives me goosebumps at times. What a silly name. But I don't want to change.

Had a chat over a night coffee with a guyfren from college.

It was weird how his gaze fell upon my top every now and then throughout the conversation.

I assume he's looking at my *ahem*. Wasn't scantily clad mah. Was wearing long jeans, black tank top and a JACKET over. Perhaps it's cos my tank top from GG>>5 got enlarged after a few wash and so became a little low cut.

It's weird when ur fren actually looked at you that way. It's funny. In mind was, "Eh, I am so flat, what's there to see? Why does he still see? Or perhaps, he's just wondering why I am so flat chested.

It's even weirder when my friends (guys and girls) sometimes just speak their mind about what they have 'observed'. I will be wondering when, when I was not paying attention that they size me up.

A guyfren said once, "Don't you dare complain again, there are so many girls worse off." Another girlfren said, "Help me buy bra when you go Bangkok, same size as you." <<--- Makes me wonder, so she has noticed that I am the same size as her.

That's a lousy argument I have just made. Can't quite articulate my thoughts well. Bleah.

**

I wanted to comment about the famous/notorious girl who flashed her body to the World. More of the World would be viewing her, and I reckon more photos of her would be up.

Though I get jealous at times, I am not of her. That sort of body is actually deemed as hot? Odd taste you people have. I'm doing exactly what she doesn't like, minding her business, and not minding my own. But what the hell. I don't like what she does too. She aims and LOVES tainting the World which I happen to live in too. So irritating.

I don't like it that one of her ambitions in life is to revolutionize the way Singapore or ( maybe as much of the World as possible) is now, the part when we are still so "CONSERVATIVE" and not be opened about issues of sexuality. (Why not revoluntionize about how we should not work so hard for money to live our lives over here? This is a million times more meaningful and beneficial to the society.) What does she want to see? Everyone openly discussing about our sex encounters and posting nude photos of AESTHETIC appeal online for all our friends, relatives and strangers to see? Is this what all of us want? When that happens, we might gain from the "RELIEF" and "ENJOYMENT" or "LIBERATION" of talking openly about the "TABOO" topics. But, we will have to pay the price for these "benefits". Price being that a lot of people will be hurt in the process. PRice being.. Whatever lah.. because I know that...

....I can argue till the cows come home and change nothing about this phenomena. The Internet is here to stay and furiously facilitating the proliferation of porn, promiscuity and crazy ideas. Some people just think that they are AHEAD in this society and their ideal society is one which is very OPEN about sex and nudity. OPEN is sometimes an euphemism. Issit OPEN or issit LOOSE? Are we conservative, or are we just trying to preserve a healthy society. Bitch, I hope she vanishes from the world soon.

Ya I am MEAN.. I told you before that I am a MEAN person. But I think she's worse. She's a hazard. She has the freedom of speech and freedom of this and that, along with many other people who has the same mindset for life as her. I can say whatever I want too.

Sometimes, I just hate reading blogs. They make me feel disturbed and unhappy and I would stop visiting the particular blogs again. I wish I live in the era where this bullshit business doesn't exist. Told ya I like to read about Mr Brown at times. He gives me hope that the kind of life and happiness I want still exist. Hope it's within my reach.

From what I wrote, I know you all would think I am just overreacting and being way too prim and proper and conservative or whatever.. I maintain that I am not and there's no point in arguing and getting all worked up in front of my computer in the middle of the night, when I have a lot better things to do. I've personally witnessed so much of the dark side of our present society and I shudder to think it's gonna get worse. By the way, it's not just against her, it's against a whole lot of pple similar to her. And I find it all right for her to describe all her life stories with explicit details on her sexual encounters. I just don't like her more recent entries on her intentions.

Need a bath to simmer down.

Do tag, tell me what you think, even if you don't agree with me.

When stress comes in double blows, my chest feels stifled and my heart races every now and then.

I shall not talk about JJ and Work.

**********

I shall talk about silly things and amuse myself with changing colours.

Now, why do guys NOT like me?

Mr R said, "Of cos lah, you are not pretty. I would like Miss A and Miss B, but not you." I got mad at him. STood up abruptly from my seat, dropped all my stuff on the ground, said,"I'm going to get water," and walked off in a huff. I think I heard them say,"TAke water for me hor!"I paced inside Coffee Bean for a while and decided not to lose my cool any further, took water for them. When i returned to them, Mr R said,"See I told ya, she's not the petty kind." Yea right. Until today, I still remember vividly what he said that day.

Reason #1 -- All right, so I don't have the looks.

At Borders, I was alone reading a book on the secret sex scene in Singapore. The two guys came over and peeped at what I am reading. I said,"Very easy job, very good money, I also want to do." Mr B knocked my head,"I think you will have problem finding business," pointed to the woman on the cover and continued, "Look at her figure and look at yours." "OK lah, ok lah.." I walked off. The two guys roared with laughter behind me.

Reason #2 -- I don't have the figure either.

Later on the escalator, I exclaimed out of the blue, "But those Fili****s and Th**s also don't have the figure what. They are worse than me in fact! Small boobs, big tummy, short frame, not pretty..."Mr B retorted, "But they have SKILLS. You don't have." I kept quiet, ya, I don't have skills, but how does he know whether I have the skills. It's wiser to keep quiet.

Reason #3 -- I don't have the skills to provide more happiness n satisfaction.

On another occasion in school in the seminar room. I was reading something. Mr E walked over and asked if he can borrow my textbook beside me. Without lifting my head to look at him once, I said,"Ok." AFter a while, Mr E came back with the book,"Thanks for the book. I'm E****, what's your name?" Still keeping my head down,"DOESN'T MATTER." He got a shock, put down the book and walked away.

Others have commented that I am too aloof, too quiet, too "black face" and just not approachable.

Reason #4 -- I am not approachable.Yea, I don't look that friendly and so look unapproachable, that people never get to know me better.

Mr A and Mr D said, "How to like you? Even like you also don't dare to tell you. You have always been attached ever since we first know you."

Ok mah.. Only at 3rd boyfriend. Is that a lot? But i have been constantly attached since JC year1 till now. About 7 years. There have been 2 little gaps in between and there were guys that wanted to get together with me, but they were all weird guys. Don't tell me only the super pretty ones get all the eligible guys and I only DESERVE a few not so good ones?

Reason #5 -- I have been seldom Single and Available.

++++++++++++++++++

Why guys don't like me huh? I'm quite a nice girlfriend mah. Ask my 1st and current bf. :) Skip the bastard in between though.

I

Not talented in anyway, I find extreme difficulty in churning out designs for the flyer/banner/sales kit/etcetc..

I kept re-editing what I did cos draft after draft, my "designs" are flawed. Now that I really have no time, I just have to force myself to accept whatever I have now.

I was never a creative girl. I always take the good points out of what others have done, then put them together to form my works. Had quite a lot of ideas, but due to limited budget and not knowing how to perform the functions I need in order to deliver what I really have in mind, I have to compromise.

"It could be better, IT could be better!" -- Haunts me nonstop that I kept trying to improve on what I have already done.

Anyways, I wanted pictures of happy children. So I gather my little cousins and took their photos. Alas, my Sanyo camera was lousy especially when taking photos in dimly litted places, my photos looked like SHITE. But I was happy that I made them look a lot better with my beginner Photoshop skills. hahahahhaa...Though, the photos still don't look good. There's a problem with the clothes they wear and their poses. Sigh..

And..having taken marketing with 'strategic brand management' as one of the very last courses I have taken in school, it has been bugging me quite a lot that I am not able to follow what I have learnt. A total integrated and consistent image, I have not been able to produce.

Actually, all these don't really matter that much. IT really doesn't take perfection to get the sales. There's one centre I visited with monthly turnover of more than $20,000. It is the only centre that is doing very well. The rest are all trailing way behind with some making losses. The place looks very bad, the teachers are bad, the promotion materials are all awful, and within the same vicinity, there are many more similar centres, but yet the place is filled with children and more children. WHY????? What's the magic? RElationship with parents? Relationship with children? Word of mouth? All the children's grades improved significantly after enrollment? Everything, I think.

Operations to deliver results, to make both the parents and children happy, is what is really important.

Aiyah, I shall stop typing this. :) Boring stuff.

***

Still in a melancholy mood coupled with stress.

Not too good with JJ lately.

After we came back from Bangkok, I was busy with quite a lot of stuff and *gasp** I don't quite miss him even when we don't meet.

So despite being busy, I went to watch him play billiard with his friends yesterday. 90% of the time, I was browsing my magazine and other materials. Anyway, he's always happy when I am there to watch him play billiard. At the end of the billiard session ..... Bah, I guess I shouldn't elaborate the problem here. Anyway, it was something about honesty and that he was angry that I accused him of lying. I still think that he lied, but I apologised and try to make up. God, was he fierce or what. He was pointing fingers at me and yelling at me and scolding me like I am his greatest enemy. It's scary how one moment he loves me and treats me well, but the next be so fierce and hates me. Maybe I was really wrong about him. But, I still believe that I was right. There have been a few times when he insisted that he didn't do a particular thing, and yelled at me for 'accusing' him, when he really did that particular thing. When he's faced with evidence, he continued scolding me that it's my fault that he lie. One moment, he's my loved one, the next, he's a total stranger whom I am starting to look down on and abhor.

During the quarrel, he started find faults with me. He started saying how he doesn't trust me. Earlier, he showed displeasure that I haven't changed my handphone number. My handphone account is under my ex bf's name for some reasons. AFter we broke up, I tried to get him to change the account name, but he refused to help me. I don't want to speak to him either. And, I don't want to change my existing number. He's very pissed that everytime my handphone bill comes with my ex bf's name on it. Ok, I can understand that he will be unhappy. But, this is way too sudden. I never knew that he mind it so much until yesterday when we quarrel. How can he blame me when I didn't know that he minds it so much? How can he blame me when he should know that I have my difficulties and can't change my handphone account name or my handphone number? We were at Macdonalds waiting to watch the movie, "Monster in law" (just like his dear mother) when he started bringing up this issue. I hate it when he just want to quarrel with me and just want to be right, and just don't want to solve the problem and end the quarrel asap.

Suddenly, I love him a lot a lot a lot lesser now. I feel like punching him for yelling at me and pointing his fingers at me yesterday. Love me a lot? Bullshit! If I didn't try to make peace yesterday, it would end with him walking right off leaving me alone with problem unsolved.

Aarrghhh.. A real idiot he is at times.

I don't understand how we can be so happy with each other for the past few months, and suddenly be so unhappy with each other now.

I DON''t UNDERSTAND!! I don't like this. So, there is no guy I can live with peacefully for the rest of my life, issit? I want PEACE!!!

Blogging doesn't make me feel anyway better. I'm upset.

Going to bathe.

*Monster-in-law was quite funny, to me at least.

I have a million things to do.. but I just can't resist reading up on blogs and now typing an entry. :)

**

JJ and I met for a little celebration for his promotion and our 8 month "anniversary". After coffee, we bumped into three of his friends. I almost wanted to run away, cos I look bad today. I'm the sort that looks very bad when I don't doll up at all, which is what happened today. He didn't introduce me to his friends. Then again, he never does. Perhaps, he's shy. Perhaps, he's not proud of me. *Shrug** But well, even without introducing, his friends still pay a lot of attention to me, grinning nonstop in glee and triumph to be the ones to 'DISCOVER' JJ's gf.

I am not upset that he didn't introduce. I know he's shy. And it just isn't quite Singapore's culture to do so, to introduce whoever is with you when you bump into people you know. GEt what I mean. Whatever lah.

I suddenly recall how one guy ever told me that I am one of those "trophy girlfriends" material, and if I get together with him, he cannot wait to show me off to all his friends. ** Issit? Puzzling** I'm not bad, but not that good also lah. I think he's just blinded by his infatuation. Anyway, i didn't get together with him. Still, I'm happy to hear such stuff.. wahahaha...

There was another who told me how I am just exactly what his dream girl is. Eh? haha.. SweetTalk? :) Oh no, I am thinking of my Economic Goods Theory again, about how I am an inferior good to certain guys, but an ostentatious good for others. hahaha..

****

The next thing I want to talk about is BLOGS I READ.

Just a few at the side bar.

IT's strange how I feel a sense of attachment towards certain bloggers. For Laozi and Gracie who never blog anymore, I still check up on their blogs almost everyday, just to see if they have updated. I just like the both of them, regardless what they write in their blogs.

Then, there are some bloggers like Tempest BLue and Wendy whom I feel attached to too. I have probably been reading about them for more than 2 years or so. We first acquainted in Opendiary, another website. They are the ones whom always have my well wishes and my concern, whether I show it or not. There's another lady, Orange, but she's too busy to blog, I think. Also like to read Tempest Blue's writings. I like to read those witty use of metaphors and all.

Jayaxe strikes me as a very down to earth and sincere individual, who's interested in quite a number of cute girls :) haha.. Kidding about the latter part. Don't get angry. :) So, I continue following his blog.

Xiaxue is an outstanding individual who lives her life in style. It's a joy just admiring her looks at times. haha. Her blog posts are entertaining too.

Reading about mrbrown gives me hope that there are still decent men around who will love their partners truly and dearly. I like Mr Nice Guy.

Claris -- A total babe. She's pretty, I like. :) Honestly, I don't like all pretty girls. In fact, I don't like to be friends of pretty girls, because of certain personal reasons. Claris is cool. Most girls with good looks are so obssessed with themselves and GUYS and more guys. With my limited vocab, I can only best describe what I feel as that she has got the looks and a cool personality. She's also very funny, without having to try.

i'm falling asleep..... ZZzzzZZZzzzz ... I haven't finished.. but nevermind lah har

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** I needta brush up my English****

Met up an old friend today. She doesn't understand why I am suddenly more concious of my looks.

I bought eye makeup today cos JJ complained that I only doll up when i go pubbing (when he is not around). He asked me why I don't take those machiam makeover photos of myself anymore. The kind of clothes that appeal to him, doesn't quite appeal to me. So, when I look at clothes etc now, I try to think if he would like it, or ask him for his opinion before buying.

Alrightee.. So I guess I am really INTO this relationship now. Banking my happiness on him. Hope he doesn't let me down. There are the 'trust' and ' honesty' issues yet to be resolved, but well... it's easier to give him the benefit of the doubt.

****

The friend I met started talking about the salaries engineers get. Most of those who took those 'professional' degrees, say accountancy, engineering, finance.. are getting attractive starting pay. A considerable margin above the rest. You might say, there are marketing pple who earn a lot too, but how many of the marketers here in singapore earn a lot? In engineering, finance and accountancy, you don't have to be that outstanding to earn those more attractive salaries. In marketing, you have to be really outstanding to earn the same high salary. It takes a marketing employee more years to reach just 3K of monthly salary than the other "professional" degrees like engineering and accountacy. I can go on and on.. At the end of the day, it's still senseless and pointless debate.

I struggled with whether I should take business or engineering at the start. Business -- my interest, uncertain pay. Engineering -- not my interest, more predictable higher pay. Interest sits higher on the rung of my ladder.

Later, struggled whether to take Finance or Marketing as my business major. Finance -- easier money. no interest. Marketing -- difficult money. my interest. Well, I could double major, but for what? Marketing credit cards is still marketing. Anyway, took marketing cos I was so intrigued by the marketing train of thoughts. I love the way my mind is now. And I was happy when JJj made a comment that I speak in a very marketing way.

***

So boring of me to say all these stuff..

going to pack my luggage. Won't blog till probably next Monday. May all go well with all of u.

Registered the Biz yesterday. :)

I really want to tell you how frustrated I am about all the payments I have to make and those smart asses who think self service websites are the best they can provide biz pple. They don't realise that their self service websites are not at all idiot proof. Even I, am not sure about some of the terms they use, what say many others? FUME And the irritating number of licenses and payments to make. FUME

Okie. Let me start all over again. I really don't quite want to say unhappy things like that. Tsk.

Registered the Biz yesterday. I'm going to pay for the 4D slip JJ helped me shade earlier. So many numbers associated with the Biz REgistration, have to pick a few to buy. :) I am becoming a real AUNTIE! :) Nah.. just that people in my family have been striking 4D lately. I wanna try my luck too. :)

Mom and I went to check out one more company in the same line again. Wouldn't call it competition lah. After that she went to order goods for her shop.

AFter that, we went to meet JJ at Thomson for Prata -- My favourite prata shop. This sort of shops usually don't publish their price on their menus or give any receipts. Yesterday, I found out that my usual mushroom and cheese prata costs $3.50. One mush room and cheese prata costs $3.50. I think I will switch to eating plain crispy prata from now on. Yea, I'm a scrooge becos I am poor. Actually, I am just learning from my friends. I have friends who have lotsa savings because they always scrimp and save on food and transport, unlike me. Learnt from them that $3.50 for a prata is too expensive. Eat at home more often to save money too. Of cos, I won't be miserly and thrifty on all occasions. For reasons such as JJ associated, I will splurge still. Anyway, JJ and I believed that -- the road to wealth and a happier life is not to scrimp and save in our everyday lives, but to strive to earn more, so that we can enjoy more and still have left over. Duh, who doesn't know this. What am I talking about.

At the prata place, someone with handicapped hearing, which means u know what right? , went from table to table to sell ornaments. As usual, me being poor and cynical didn't pay much attention to him who was hoping that we will buy. JJ is worse. He's the one who always rejects donations and the like. My Mom suddenly took out her wallet and asked me how much it costs. She asked me to pick one of the ornaments -- petroleum fueled candle with decor in a glass. She said that he looked very pitiful and that we should do something good especially when we just registered biz earlier. The Chinese belief of doing good hoping to receive good in return.

Well, after prata, Mom sent JJ and I home. Later in the night at 11plus, she came to pick us up for supper. Someone strike 4D and treated us to a Seafood feast - huge crabs, drunken prawns and all. Yum!

And this is how the day I register the little biz went. :)

*****

JJ brought me to see a skin doctor today. He heard about this clinic in ToaPayoh from his colleagues. Went. He takes photos of all his patients for his BEfore and AFter collection. He was about to take my front profile, when he decided not to, "Not much problem from front profile. Which is the worst part on your face?" Turned to my side and he snapped a couple of shots. Here's money to spend again.. Sianz..

Also... I always wanted to wear BRACES. More money again. Wisdom Tooth EXtraction. Teeth Whitening. All need the BUCKS. Also driving license, study loan, Also, breast augmentation. :) Hope to get it done by 30 years old, make it 29 years old. 6 more years to go! :) hahahaha