Not too good with JJ lately.

After we came back from Bangkok, I was busy with quite a lot of stuff and *gasp** I don't quite miss him even when we don't meet.

So despite being busy, I went to watch him play billiard with his friends yesterday. 90% of the time, I was browsing my magazine and other materials. Anyway, he's always happy when I am there to watch him play billiard. At the end of the billiard session ..... Bah, I guess I shouldn't elaborate the problem here. Anyway, it was something about honesty and that he was angry that I accused him of lying. I still think that he lied, but I apologised and try to make up. God, was he fierce or what. He was pointing fingers at me and yelling at me and scolding me like I am his greatest enemy. It's scary how one moment he loves me and treats me well, but the next be so fierce and hates me. Maybe I was really wrong about him. But, I still believe that I was right. There have been a few times when he insisted that he didn't do a particular thing, and yelled at me for 'accusing' him, when he really did that particular thing. When he's faced with evidence, he continued scolding me that it's my fault that he lie. One moment, he's my loved one, the next, he's a total stranger whom I am starting to look down on and abhor.

During the quarrel, he started find faults with me. He started saying how he doesn't trust me. Earlier, he showed displeasure that I haven't changed my handphone number. My handphone account is under my ex bf's name for some reasons. AFter we broke up, I tried to get him to change the account name, but he refused to help me. I don't want to speak to him either. And, I don't want to change my existing number. He's very pissed that everytime my handphone bill comes with my ex bf's name on it. Ok, I can understand that he will be unhappy. But, this is way too sudden. I never knew that he mind it so much until yesterday when we quarrel. How can he blame me when I didn't know that he minds it so much? How can he blame me when he should know that I have my difficulties and can't change my handphone account name or my handphone number? We were at Macdonalds waiting to watch the movie, "Monster in law" (just like his dear mother) when he started bringing up this issue. I hate it when he just want to quarrel with me and just want to be right, and just don't want to solve the problem and end the quarrel asap.

Suddenly, I love him a lot a lot a lot lesser now. I feel like punching him for yelling at me and pointing his fingers at me yesterday. Love me a lot? Bullshit! If I didn't try to make peace yesterday, it would end with him walking right off leaving me alone with problem unsolved.

Aarrghhh.. A real idiot he is at times.

I don't understand how we can be so happy with each other for the past few months, and suddenly be so unhappy with each other now.

I DON''t UNDERSTAND!! I don't like this. So, there is no guy I can live with peacefully for the rest of my life, issit? I want PEACE!!!

Blogging doesn't make me feel anyway better. I'm upset.

Going to bathe.

*Monster-in-law was quite funny, to me at least.