3 posts in 1 night..
Thought I might as well post this up. Something not very nice.
Cos I am BOTHERED. Freaking bothered and disappointed again at JJ's latest 'demands'.
So he said I must understand that there is a particular kind of girl he is attracted to, and that I shouldn't dress the way I like, but dress the way that will appeal to him. Bloody hell, if I am not the type that appeals to him, then DON'T chase me months ago and make my life miserable now right??? RIGHT???
So what does he want now?
I been wearing pants too much. He likes short denim skirts. I don't ever hear him say anything nice when I wear skirts and dresses. Why would I want to wear more of them? Zero encouragement only receives criticisms.
Out of the blue, he suggested that I should put on eye makeup like eyeshadow etc.. I wonder, which pretty babe he saw whose eye makeup looked so seductive that he's asking me to do the same. I used to put on eye makeup, the full works in the past. On such occasions, he would either criticise or laugh at me. He never had anything nice to say.Why would I want to put on again right? Now, he's asking me to do it. I can just cry loh.. What an idiotic bf I have.
Next, Lotsa lacey underwear and lotsa G-strings. What a piece of shit my bf is to make such requests.
He's also attracted to all the boobsy Singaporean girls. He, himself, promised me not to watch porn again, and repeatedly said he doesn't and would scold me if I do not believe. But, well, he really still does dig those stuff. He's still into the porn shit, I found out. Initially, he wasn't the least bit apologetic. I wasn't angry or very upset.. I was jaded. JADED that he lied again.. he has to disgust me time and again. He has to disappoint me time and again. Why must he lie?? It's not so much of the porn thing, since almost every guy is into porn. I can't break up with him just because of this reason cos I won't find another guy who doesn't have this problem. But, he just proved to me that I cannot trust him. He will never change. He will never be honest with me.
He tried to argue the above.. He tried to argue that there are girls he will be attracted to, which I should understand. Suggested that I should change to suit his liking.
I'm tired..i'm not young anymore. I'm sick of not meeting anyone that's really my Mr Right. I blame myself for my lack of foresight in choosing bfs. There's so much to lose if I give up on JJ. I'm a little stuck here. I'm really sad..I'm really tired..I'm really bothered with his lack of honesty and his demands that I should change myself to suit his liking. Have I ever complained that he's always wearing the same clothes? Cos it's not important. Does he think that he's really perfect and there's nothing he need to change at all, but there are so much I should change about myself? I'm kinda hurt too. In fact, I cried.. It was the first time I cried in front of him. I forgave him anyway.. but I'm still bothered, Very much bothered.
posted by Satin @ 6:47 am
6 Comments:
I thought girls nowadays are usually in pants and jeans. Skirts are okay but denim skirts seem quite out of fashion, no?
Denim skirts still look good from where I'm standing. :P Gotta agree though, they lack class.
Anyway, it's really your choice how you choose to dress. There's no harm in him letting you know what gets him going, So long as he's just thinking aloud.
If he's actually telling you how to dress... you could play the same game. Get him to take you to War of the Worlds, and ask him to get in shape/groom himself better like Tom Cruise. lol!
huh.. JJ's arguments are often just so wrong.
first, i do wear skirts. i do wear those short ones. On such occasions, I have never ever heard him say anything positive. Now, he's saying that I should. I think he's freaking wanting me to dress like some girl he's been admiring or something.
sigh.. i dun want to dwell in this issue anymore. cos, if i do, i will be convinced that he's a piece of shit that I should dump asap.
thanks for all ur comments really.. at least i know what others think.. even if you are on his side, you can tell me too.. cos i might not realise my own mistake all the time.
Y'know, you say you have so much to lose if you leave him. But what is there to gain you keep hanging on to this lifestyle? You keep giving in, running around to meet his needs. Is what you're going through now really what you want for the rest of your life?
If you're holding on because you still really have feelings him, then I can understand. But if you're holding on just because you're unsure of what happens if you leave... that's a whole different story.
It's your call though, just don't be indecisive or you'll be miserable each time you think it over. Make a decision and stand by it. :)
I think it's good if he tells you what he likes but not if it's a demand for you to change your ways. Maybe both of you need to communicate a little more to see where both of you are coming from.
Does JJ read this blog?
Call me if you need to talk. Get no./msn from Tempest. ^_^
dinghy **** thanks for ur advice. :) i have this mentality that everyone has his/her shortcomings. I'm thinking that any guy I can be with, will have his share of flaws that I cannot tolerate. Just like I have my own weaknesses too. doubt i will ever be that lucky to get a good guy for a partner.
pufferfish^^^ no. JJ knows that I blog, but he doesn't know my blog add.if he does chance upon this blog one day, then i will have big trouble. too much complaints here about him and his beloved mum for him to read. None of my frens reads too, not that I know of at least.
He's not demanding and he says he admits that he's wrong to suggest that I should change and all. What's disturbing is that he must have such preferences, because he's been oggling or 'admiring' other girls. Some guys are just too immature to indugle in porn. They cannot differentiate porn with reality. and it just disgusts and disturbs me that girls he looks at are always those 'sexily dressed' SINGAPOREAN girls. e,g, those girls in bikinis from a beach party on Newpaper last week. and girls from whatever sg.com site.
forget it..
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