Peer Pressure

I won't be getting honours, most probably not even merit...

Well, I am fine with it, because I didn't bother to work hard, because these weren't important to me.

But, it starts to be important when peer pressure starts setting in... Aarghh.. Feel like shit.

I want to emigrate..

Bought from Baleno in Hongkong. Put a mobile phone on the blue packpack. When your phone rings or receives a message, there will be music, the whale will vibrate and sway its tail. 

My coin bank 

JJ gave this to me the first time he asked me to be his girl 

Underachieving

"Most of us can remember a classmate who was very bright, but received poor grades due to low motivation." source = my HRM notes

Feeling lousy, underachieved, ashamed, left below when everyone's flying high

Not capable of using words to describe how I feel now. Perhaps, lousy is really quite apt.

Full of Disdain, I admit

Yesterday, I was talking about how I view guys in school who are not as capable as the girls. Surely having lived more years than the girls, and been through more life experiences like army for instance, should give them some edge over the girls right?

But there are some guys who are really, don't mind me, CANNOT MAKE IT. These perceptions come from my obeservations in class, during project work etc.. Wonder why some guys can CONFIDENTLY make unintelligent comments, sometimes, openly in front of his 30 plus other coursemates. Wish you could see them, then u know what I mean.

I admit that I am disdainful towards such guys. But, I do respect and look up to those that are really smart and capable.

Throughout my SMU days, I realised something
Confidence is a powerful tool.
Confidence is a great concealing tool. Great for concealing your inadequacies.
Confidence is deceptive.
Confidence wins you a faithful lot of audience.
I can go on and on.. Which I shan't.

****
I was talking to JJ about this. TAlking a lot about how I cannot stand some guys who cannot understand what I say, who make stupid comments confidently. Yes, they are entitled to their own opinions, which if in my opinion is not solid or simply too naive, I am entitled to have a low opinion of them too.

It was meant to be a lighthearted topic. But, hmm.. he popped a difficult question,"What if one day I am less capable than you?"I started mumbling some answers... Honestly, it wouldn't be a problem to me.

What I ask of him is for him to always love me truly, faithfully, dearly..Not to satisfy all material desires with a big fat paycheck. Ask him not to stress himself, because I know it's not easy at work. It's not easy! I know, because I will be working too. And that we should just enjoy life as it is.

******
WY says that she would like to open a shop selling things of interest to her, and not like others climb the corporate ladder... :) Me too. I guess I am largely influenced by my Mama who is in the retail line too. Actually, I find that girls dream of opening shops selling stuff they like and guys think of opening up cafes.

Okiee..I am going to be discriminating again. Whenever a guy tells me that his goal is to open a cafe, I will not be taking him seriously, and frankly speaking, my disdain will start to act up again. Strangly, or not that strangely after all, those smart capable guys who have real potential never say such stuff about wanting to open up cafes.

***

The last thing I want to say is that... Robert K**** CAnnot remember the spelling of his name, really changed many people's lives with his first book --Rich Dad Poor Dad. Not that everyone will follow what he says in the book, but I think he has managed to influenced the mindsets of many individuals all over the world. I respect him.

***
I can feel my butt expanding, waist thickening, thighs and calves bursting...but my *ahem* cleavage still as non-existent as ever...

What is important to me?

That will be..

LOVE ~ Pure and Enduring.

Self Development -- In terms of speaking, writing, knowledge, critical thinking, creative thinking, EQ, personality etc.. Forever yearning for more improvements.

Exposure ** It's a subset of self development I guess. To be exposed to many cultures over the World, with my loved one. Widen my perceptions. Feast my senses.

Material Satisfaction -- Not a nice big house or an expensive car (Though, a pink or purple car is a bonus. That is till I ever go get a license), but the ability to buy the clothes, the bags, the shoes, make up..as and when I want. Don't have to be branded material goods. The financial abiltiy to travel!travel!travel!


What happen to my family? What happen to a relationship wih God?


^^^^^^^^^^

Anyway, I have only been together with JJ for one and a half month. But strangely, the topic of marriage has been raised quite a number of times.

Especially from JJ's mommy. Some stuff she has said so far

#1
JJ's mama to me :How do you find my son? Is he good to you?
Me: That's a very weird question...
Just then, JJ came into the room so I didn't have to answer that question.

#2
JJ's mama to me: I will be very good to my daughter in law, cook for her and all leh. Whoever is my daugther-in-law will be treated well.

#3
JJ's mama to JJ and me: I just ask for for another 10 years of lifespan to see my grandchildren.

#4
At today's supper, JJ's mama to a coffee shop auntie: This is my son's gf. Three more years and we will "marry her" into the family.
JJ to me: Did you hear what she say?

#5
JJ's grandmama to JJ's mama: If they can get along with each other, quickly ask JJ to marry her into the family.


"Marry her into the family" -- I have said these twice. They were said in Chinese ba3 ta1 qu3 guo4 lai2. I was attempting to tranlate it into English, but I know the way i have phrased it is wrong. haha


^^^^

Have I eaten lobsters before? Why have I never ordered lobsters? Have I categorised myself into a class of people who cannot afford such "luxury foods"? Why have I categorised myself this way? Am I nuts? Of course, I can afford luxury foods. Soon!

^^^

And I wondered why JJ sometimes makes comments such as he thinks I will earn more than him when I start working ( at the beginning stage that is). Today, we talked about our material goals, and when it was my turn to say, he said, "Your sure very ambitious right?" Hmm...since when am I an ambitious girl?

I just want to have a loving faithful husband and 3 children, and be able to go travel!travel!travel! Never had the desire to climb the corporate ladder or so. I am not good employee material..Sshhhh! Keep this secret for me. haha...Well, of course, I would ultimately want to be my own boss.. We'll see.

End of Attempt

OK..I am getting really fed up with trying to post more than one photos here. So, you see one photo in one entry.. hahhahahaha....I am supposed to insert the source link to include the images but.. K..nevermind, I will seek help another time.

As you can see, the photos are all blur. Cos the objects are moving. Cos my digicam is not good enough. :) But it's ok.

Yesterday --17 NOV 2004 was my last day of lesson and last day of presentations in my entire SMU life. Was quite emotional. Running out of time now. I want to write about what happened on this last day...

I am not leaving school yet lah. Next Saturday, I will have my very last exam (HUman resource management in Asia) in SMU.

And guess what? I won't graduate yet, because I haven't fulfilled my community service requirement. I have to do 80 hours of community service before I can graduate. So after the exam, plus this com service, I will be done.

Till the next entry..




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Attempting to post photos

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Went for the Pooh Bear Show

I went to the Pooh Bear Show at Expo. JJ thinks I am a big kid who likes this sort of stuff. Actually, I like musicals and i think I would prefer Disney on Ice. This Pooh Bear show is really out of my 'range' now..hahahaa..Much as I like the character Piglet.

I took some pictures! Post them up at a later time..

Hee, actually, I am quite sian to post them, because, well, no one reads my blog, so I am the only one going to see the photos?? hmmm....

here's where the rose go. I dun have a vase..

my first post

JJ made this card for me

This is my first post and it is driving me crazy, because I don't know how to use it. I don't know how to post my pictures!!!! I am going to sleep, I shall not bother for the time being..Sigh..

I am Satin. It's not my real name of course. Today is my first month together with JJ (my new found love)

JJ's my third boyfriend. I hope he will be the last one....

Anyway, the picture above shows a card JJ made for me. The picture is supposed to appear now below what ever I am typing now, but shrug, it just refuses to come down. :(

I went JJ's house to look for him. Then we went to the Macdonald's at West Coast. I know what you people might be thinking that it is a loser place to go to. *Grinz* I shall not try to explain why we were there. Anyway, we had a wonderful time. Yes, we shared a Macdonald's nugget meal, took photos with my pink Sanyo digicam (haha) and then went Mac Cafe for cheese cake and latte. After which we took a short walk, because I felt very very FAT.

Some days back, he already bought me tickets to the Pooh Bear and Friends show at Expo. This is my first month anniversary present, on top of the card. That's the first stalk of flower he has ever given me.

I wanted to buy him.. haha.. boxers from Calvin Klein. But the one I wanted to buy is out of stock. The rest of the CK underwear is SIGH... Not worthed the money at all. Absolute poor quality. And I feel totally embarrassed browsing the male underwear in the shop at Citilink Mall.
So, I walked to and fro and settled for a most boring present -- a mug. This bloody mug costs me $35 leh. haha..

I have also been writing him letters. The letters meant to document what happened during our dating days and some thoughts I didn't reveal to him before. I planned to write one everyday and give him a pile of them on the first month anniversary. Hee..I think I only gave him a total of 9 letters in the end. Didn't manage to write everyday. It looks really good you know! But I have given him the pile of letters written on the nicest letterpaper (haha) already..I can't take a picture of them to post here. *shrug* JJ is very touched reading the letters today.. *Thank God**