I just reread some posts. Now I know why I don't want to blog here anymore. I'm so negative. :)

OMG

It's been like how many years since I posted here. To think it still exists! How many blogs is blogspot hosting?

And I got here by accident. I started a new blog a couple of weeks ago. I completely forgot my password (Really!) and I was randomly typing some passwords that I might use and VIOLA! I was suddenly shown Satin's blog.

*Shudder* What sort of name is Satin. Wahahaha. Subconciously, I wanted to be viewed as a sensual person????!!!

Now, should I post here or in my new one? I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter. Cos, why am I suddenly blogging again?

It was cos of this guy that I talked to some time back. He commented that I have changed since the last time he knew me from reading this blog and maybe another, that I talked about different things. I knew what he was talking about. You know, I don't quite dare to reread my previous posts. Somehow I am ashamed of my past.

I am ashamed that I never put in the effort to do well in my studies. I am ashamed that I didn't cherish and lost a great relationship. I'm ashamed that I went through different boyfriends after that - all of whom I didn't love. I just want their company. I was like in the quest of the love I have tasted and lost. I was kind of looking for it methodically. I shall not elaborate.

****

Well, the last thing I wrote seemed to be about me getting married on 6 June 2006. I did get married. I have a 5-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. And because I am married, I am no longer interested in other men. It's like a  permanent situation. I just need to work on my marriage and keep working on it. It's not like those vulnerable boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.

I have found the vocation of my life - teaching. It suits me -- 90% of the time. Recently, I thought that I am going to make some life-changing decisions about my career. Save this for another day.

Now, I'm going to stop here. Back to marking and watching TV series on Funshion -- my latest favourite pastime. It used to be reading book after book for about 3 years until my husband downloaded Funshion. Wahahaa. I love "Lost Girl". Waiting for Season 3. Now watching Drop Dead Dunno What  Season 1.