Issit good or bad that I am looking forward to going back to work? But I can't pump in those extra efforts to make everything right anymore. A working mother.. hmm..

There was a newspaper article on how a girl started a student care centre at the age of 21 or so and now at the age of 28, she owns almost 20 centres. My mother-in-law said, "People are so capable. They can open so many centres. You are almost dying with just one." Of course I didn't like to hear that. But there's quite a bit of truth in what she said. I deliberated over this issue for sometime. You know, I actually wanted to wind down teh business by end of this year. Even though the business has been double that of 2006 with still some room for growth.

What's the problem then? I think it all lies with (or issit lies in.. seldom write. been reading and speaking way too much chinese.) my weak character. I have always been very dependent on people. Back in JC and the first year of university, I had my first boyfriend to depend on. With his help, I have the confidence and drive to accomplish a whole lot of things. He's equally capable with a very good character, so he's real good help. Since then, there's been no one to depend on for support anymore. What kind of assistance and support do I want? I need someone with a good character and a little brainy to do the business with me. Don't get the idea that I am real weak and dependent. Cos after all, I have been managing most things myself for the past 1 plus years. Just that to produce even better results, to achieve more break throughs, I need someone good to work together with. Nobody I have employed so far can assist me this way yet.

And then.. anotehr problem is that I am too focused on teaching. IF I spend time teaching and thinking how to teach and preparing teaching materials, then I won't have time to manage the overall business and think of how to grow it. This is another main problem. But my penchant is for teaching... But if i go teach in a school... I don't think I can take the steep paycut.. I got a baby and car to pay for now..

I got to go..haven't finished my "reflection". got to look after beebee...