Generally, I am ok.

Sometimes.. I still feel unhappy though.. Some self defeating thoughts will seep into my mind.. thoughts about how lousy I am that he dumped me..and how he is attracted to some other girl.. what if i see him around with another girl now.. and all the shit. just sometimes.. memories of how he told me i have bad dress sense, how i lack sex appeal, how every good of mine becomes jus average in his eyes.

my grandma came down with a stroke. been visiting her at the hospital for the past few days... see her i want to cry.. i haven't been able to give her much yet..but ya.. i dunno if i am just immuned to unhappiness or that i recover real fast these days.. the moment i stepped out of the hospital, i don't think about her condition much anymore.

it doesn't matter that much now too each time someone disappoints me now too..

***

What if I tell you that I have been attending church recently? Went twice. LAst sunday and today. Made new friends. One of which seems like a good friend material.. would be real nice to have a close girlfren again! i doze off briefly during the sermon today though.. partly cos i was tired..partly cos.. i didn't like what was being preached today... it's not so relevant to us..not much impact.. unlike last week.

sometimes.. i still like myself a lot... my name -- means God's princess.. I found out some years back... nobody wants to treat me like his princess.. i shall be God's princess.. haha..

i'm not very religious or fervent now. i didn't suddenly turn to religion to escape. I'm too sleepy to explain now... niteee