I didn't do too badly today I guess..
Couldn't get to sleep and woke up a few times last night.
Was a little depressed in the morning.
Then, it started getting real busy at work again that I didn't have time and energy to grieve over what happened.
By the way.. I slammed the house door so hard yesterday that... IT's SPOILT!!!!! But my family members still don't know that I am the one who spoilt it.
I need to change my temper. It's gets out of hand at times.
It's 8 plus..I'm all alone at home. Noone would be home until I am fast asleep in bed.
My handphone has been dead quiet the whole day, except for unwanted calls from a particular parent. She's always giving me a lot of trouble, but very little money.
My hand phone is so quiet I want to switch it off... but I can't cos i have a business to run still. bah...
Still..I didn't do too bad again. What to do when you are dumped and unwanted? Must try to live life good. EArn more money and look more attractive.
I took the first step by visiting the dentist earlier. I haven't visited one in years. Now I have nice clean teeth. I have six more teeth to remove in the coming months.
The next thing I will be doing is to lose some weight. The extra 3kilos.
Maybe I should hit the gym and pool more often and loiter around downstairs every evening in hope that i can meet a nice guy.
Ya.. some friends think I am desperate. Most people will often judge others like that when they seem to want to be in relationships very much.
I am desperate for a satisfying relationship that will make me happy. And it's so hard to attain one.
When I look at the parents of the children.. I am starting to think that they are very lucky. The mothers.. There are men who actually want to marry them and set up a family with them and love their children together. Don't think anyone I like want to like me or marry me or have children with me.
Just breaking into tears many times a day. My eyes are puffy and swollen.
And.. I realise I have no friends. I haven't made the effort to keep up friendships. My friends haven't either. I want to make friends.
I used to have a lot of friends and would thank God how lucky I was to be blessed with so many good friendships. that was....all before University.
posted by Satin @ 8:47 pm
6 Comments:
wat he does not appreciate doesn't mean others won't appreciate as well. There will be others a kazillon times better than him! Meanwhile, take real good care of yourself and love yourself more, because if even u don't, who will? :o)
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why i read your comments tears start welling up again..
ya.. must love myself..cos it's very difficult expecting pple to love me more..
i wasn't eating yesterday.. i shall eat from now on.. who's going to be there when i get gastric? no one.. just worse off... and i get gastric easily.. i must get a notebook and write down the words of wisdom my frens tell me..
but i think i can love someone else without loving myself first leh.. in fact, when you love yourself too much, you can't love other pple liao.. cos you will priortise your own well being right?
btw.. i am so surprise that anyone might be reading my seldom-updated-with-lotsa-whining blog.. haha.. thanks
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you can love others without loving yourself, but how do you expect people to love you if you don't find yourself lovable? Cos if you can't see it in yourself, its even harder for others to see.
So take Angie's advice, develop your lovable qualities, recognise them, appreciate yourself, and very soon others will see them too. :-)
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