She's a novelty.

She's attractive.

She is more capable because she earns more money.

He sees her everyday.

She spends a lot more time with him than me.

She goes to lunch with him.

She talks on the phone with him.

She shows concern and admiration for him.

Concern from an attractive stranger is worth a million times than concern from an everyday companion.

She messages him.

He doesn't know her well just yet.

And so it seems that she's better in everyway.

And so it seems...

I look like a hag with irritating dogs at home.

I am not capable working in a company with no name and considerably lower income.

I hardly get to see him.

There are no other pple but children and more children at my work place.

He was very determined to break up just last month.

EVerything's still so unstable.

We started off very badly and it just never got well for long.

I look like a total hag. No matter what I do, I will just not be as attractive.

No matter how well I have treated him all this while.. it will hardly amount to any credit in face of another shitty girl.

Well... when it happens, it happens.. no point trying to hold on anymore.. I am tired.

Time after time. There must be something very wrong with me. I need to learn from my mistakes. What mistakes have I committed in my past two relationships?

One main mistake is to let the boyfriend know that I don't trust him. IT's really weird. They expect you to trust them completely even after they have lied several times to you before.

I guess another mistake is taht I am too gullible. I shouldn't believe a guy when he says he likes me a lot. In both relationships, I realised within the first week that both boyfriends did not like me much at all. They just want a girlfrend and they happen to meet me at that point of time. I am not the one they really want at all. The next time someone tells me that he likes me, I am going to kick him very hard.

The idiot works at a local university that a whole lot of you go to. maybe I can just ask a friend to pop over and help me see who he is attracted to. I know it's pointless.. Bah./. .Fuck. Idiots of idiots. Dont' tell me that it's his losss and not my loss. I have lost a lot a lot a lot a lot. Time. Money. Feelings. Youth. Opportunity costs. He merely lost someone he doesn't love much. What loss did he incur?????

Don't tell me someone better will come along. The last time I broke up.. this idiot came along and he's just slightly better. Does this count?

I guess I contributed to the situation. If I were that good, he wouldn't have been this way. I needta reflect.