Goodness..I keep thinking of a particular someone today. Gotta stop it stop it stop it stop it. Better not blog about it. I won't cheat on my partner. Just sometimes, some thoughts secretly seep into my mind. I won't be like those people I loathe -- those people who cheat on their partners. I won't I won't I won't.

Meant to blog about HOW I HANDLE LIFE AFTER BREAKUP.

I am not going through a break up now. But I did before. Just thought of blogging about it. Borrowed a book to read today. Haven't read a novel for ages. I tend to be more practical. If I were to read, I would read something very informative like newspapers, Time, Newsweek, Businessweek etcetc.. Cleo and Female are informative reads too. :) Anywayz, the book reminded me that the last time I read was when I was single.

I always feel like I don't want to live anymore after each breakup. Not that there were many.
There would be some stuff I would start doing right away to make myself feel better.

~ Bring a lot of tissue paper out. Cos I might burst out crying any moment of the day doing anything anywhere.

~ Do something to my hair. Cos every breakup make me feel totally unattractive. I want to feel attractive again.

~ Doll up more before I go out.

~ Start making new friends - mostly guys. Ooops...

~ Plan all my days way in advance. I would make sure that I would have something to occupy my mind with every moment till bed time. Ask a friend out almost every night.

~Buy novels to read.

~Before I sleep, I would call at least one friend to talk to. The friend would talk to me, listen to me cry, counsel me till I fall asleep each night.

~Go to church.

~ I would also list out the characterisitics of the next boyfriend I want to have and ask my friends to match make me.

Sounds like I can't live without a guy? Actually, all these are just to help me get over the initial phase after breakup. AFter a month or so, I would be fine, and would actually back off when there are guys who want to be together. I will be totally hesitant and not want to rush into a new relationship anyhow again.

Only one boyfriend and the boyfriend my future husband was what I always wanted. Well.. it's impossible now of cos, now that I am at my third. I remember that I wasn't serious about him at first. I thought I would just date him for a few months and wouldn't be serious because he's not the kind of guy I want to spend the rest of my life time with. We just aren't suitable for each other. But well.. I ended up being serious. Damn.

Having typed this, I feel lucky that there were so many who were there for me when I feel like I couldn't survive each day.

*****

I'm beginning to like playing pool. Hope to improve and start playing at the billiard table soon. :)

When I ever get the bikini I want, I will start swimming again.

I want to practise my singing again. Might buy a basketball to do a little shooting and stuff at the court too. Nobody wants to do tennis with me lah.

By the way, I went gym again yesterday. haha. Got kaki, otherwise I would have just plopped myself on the sofa and watched tv all night. I shall see if I can still be as athletic as in the past. A good fren went with me to the gym once and yelled," hello?? you look like you feel totally out of place in a gym. did you forget that u were a swimmer, a basketballer, a runner blahblah.." I was slightly slightly slightly above average in sports in the past. But yea..that was in the past. And people just can't link me to sports anymore now. They find it incredible that I ever do sports cos I am so gu niang at times and avoids the sun.

I learnt today that one of JJ's friends actually has a sister who lives in my area. He said he has actually been coming here to swim n work out for a few years. I was like.. hur.. that was even before I got to know JJ. (Only know JJ for about one year until now. ) But I have never bumped into him here all this while. I know him about a year ago too. Now, what's the big deal about this, you may wonder.. well......well....... *shrug**

Wah..haven't spent such a long time blogging for ages. :)