Yesterday was graduation. It was a total chore having to sit through the entire event.

It's meaningless to me. As I listen to the speech, I felt that it's irrelevant and so insignificant to me. Why irrelevant? I'm not one of those SMU produced high flyers. I'm not one of those professionals working in huge organisations achieving steadily growing high income, making good use of the SMU education. I'm not one of those successful entrepreneurs. I think I am totally throwing the Uni's face. Not gonna tell anyone where I was previously studying.

Was a little excited to see certain friends though. Then again, I know a hell lot of pple, but is not close to anyone of them. They outcast me. They don't like me. What to do? *Shrug** But I know it's because I don't look approachable and always harbour the mentality that noone would like me as a friend and I should just keep to myself and stay a loner.

But sometime ago, one of this lot of SMU pple did a project with me. They were some instances when we were alone to each other. Sometime later at a bash, I heard from some other girls that this particular girl said that "SSSSSS is actually very nice and happening." Well, those pple never know me. It's partly my fault. I am not proactive enough in friendships. I will often assume that I'm the outcast. I'm sensitive. I backed away if I am excluded.

Sometimes I will be shocked when some of them exclaimed stuff such as "SSSS can actually sing very well!".. "SSSSSSS actually goes pubbing and dancing!!" "SSSSS actually dresses up!" yadayadayadayada.. What? I have always been like this. What's so shocking?

Everyone's shocked at my career decision too. None of my Uni frens know. They don't have the privilege. But my secondary school frens and all are. Those few who know.

And I know my frens think I have chosen the wrong path. They think I'm going into the direction where I won't be making big money just like the other graduates would.

OMIGOD!!!! I am suddenly feeling emotional and sad!! Think I'm going to cry if I continue typing. Going to watch tv.

Who the hell knows me????? Maybe, it's not important that others don't know me. Maybe it's not important.

Sidetracking alittle.. :p I have surprised myself with my Chinese. Goodness gracious. I'm good enough to teach the primary students Chinese! :p