Peaks and Valleys of Life we have to travel through, and I am near the bottom of one Valley now.

Yesterday, my counsellor managed to make me feel a lot better. We played Literati at the expense of his sleep. I thought I would be able to fall asleep. The moment I lie on my bed.. I started weeping AGAIN.. can I like stop being such a crybaby.. I cry cry cry myself to sleep. I guess I have been crying way too often that JJ doesn't care anymore.

Today, I woke up, determined to do a whole lot of work at the centre. When I reached there, something terrible happened. The kitchen was flooded and the water almost flowing to the living room. All of us were devastated. This is the 2nd time... It's real trouble. It's not the normal residential tiled flooring at the centre.. We had just bought new rubber (or whatever material that is) sheet to line the entire place. EVerytime it's wet.. the sheet has to be removed and dried, then replace again..

It's a terror everytime the households above my floor use the bathroom to shit, to bathe, to pee, to wash clothes etc.. all the water + shit + urine+ rubbish +dirty water will flow out of the whatever that hole is called in my bathroom. And today is Sunday. The households above used the bathrooms so frequent, working me and the rest (my mother and her assistant) to death. I'm on the second floor. I had to scoop all the shit and water into pails and then carry the heavy pails down the stairs to pour away the contents into the bathroom at the first flow. I scooped and scooped.. the water n shit just kept coming. We must have carried 50 pails of water down in that few hours..

This is the second time... The last time, we too have to scoop all the water and shit till my mother's friend helped us do some plumbing. It has only been a few days and the problem returned again. After a few hours, a plumber from HDB arrived. He managed to alleviate the problem, so I didn't have to sleep over at the centre to scoop water all night to ensure that it doesn't flood the whole place. Thank God.

But the problem's not solved. The HDB plumber said that he could only provide a temporary solution. We have to get pple from the Town Council to do the major works to solve this problem tmr..Pray hard.. Otherwise, there's no way I can do business at all.

My back aches.. My palms rough. Such a major problem. JJ wasn't there to help. Well, I didn't tell him, cos I didn't want to contact him. After a few hours, I thought I'm going to crumble soon.. called him.. told him what happened. He just said a few words of concern. Why didn't he come down to help me? He doesn't live far from me. He's a selfish brat. Only know how to receive.

Times when something bad happen to him, I would rush down in a cab immediately. From North to West. Today is Sunday, I was just a 15-20 minutes journy from his place. It's very sian when you meet a guy who loves you a lot lesser than you love him. who doesn't know what true love should be about. he's in the stage whereby girlfrens are just companions to watch movies, do shopping with.. to listent o his troubles and be there for him when he's sick and exchange smses a few times a day, talk a little while on the phone at night, meeting twice a week will do.. you will get to meet him, if he schedules you. Are relationships supposed to be this way? I didn't know that.

Don't want to talk about him. He asked if I want to meet him tmr. Honestly, I can't bear to live him, despite knowing very well that we are a mismatch and that he's giving me a lot of misery. He's just not what I want. I have higher expectations out of a relationship then he can deliver. Tmr would be an extremely busy day, aside from the pipe works, there are lots others scheduled to be done. Under normal circumstances, I would have just leave my work and do the dinner with him and whatever else he wants. But today, I told him that I can probably only meet him for a while, depending on my schedule. Still meeting him, but squeezing a lot lesser time for him. I should concentrate on what is really important. He doesn't seem to make a good potential husband to me.. he's shouldn't be tha important to me anymore. he's not contributing positively to my life. I'm realigning my priorities and trying to live by the new set.