Just now, my phone rang..I was really happy. Been waiting for that call.. To realise it was my sister and not him. No other 'him' lah.. I have been waiting for JJ to call. But well, knowing him, he won't.

First, we don't get to meet up much. Then, when we do, he doesn't have much to say. He's often in a daze. Staring into empty space. Thinking of a place to eat is a chore. Thinking of what to do after eating is yet another chore. He just doesn't seem like he's enjoying time with me. He says I am thinking too much.

We walked past TopShop where there was this rack of underwear. You know those underwear that TopShop sells.. I pointed to them and asked him to look. Afterwards, he started talking about how girls should wear those appealing designs over those which provide functionality. This got me unhappy. Because I prefer functional undergarments and usually compromise with design as a result.

See... you got to wear a dark beige underwear under white clothes, so that it wouldn't look obvious. Cotton underwear is better for the skin, but they usually lack aesthetical appeal. So as I was saying, my priority is functionality and so I don't wear a lot of fanciful or whatever underwear. So I was unhappy with what he said and I remembered all those pictures he were looking at - voluptuous girls wearing fanciful underwear and all. Feel like killing him.

Oh..maybe you think I should try to please him by doing what he likes. I did try, and feel stupid trying.. it wasn't enough.

I think I should stop blogging. I hardly ever say anything positive and it makes me feel bad. I am trying to seek solace here, but ended up feeling worse sometimes.

I think I make a terrible girlfriend, cos I think too much about unnecessary issues. I expect too much from my boyfriend. I am expecting him to be very in love with me and be disinterested in all other girls. I don't know what I am talking about lah.

Going to call him. And tell him I want to break up. Childish.. but .. I feel so awful I want to do something about this agony.