and so it is..

When I was in primary school, it was the norm to want to go into a good secondary school. So, I went to the best secondary school my grades could get me to. Girls' School. :)

When I was in secondary school, it was the norm to want to go to a Junior College. A Poly was disdained upon. So, i went to a Junior College.. Not the best I could get into, but ya, I had a crush on this guy there in the JC, so didn't want to leave....

When I was in JC, the next step is definitely the University..So, went University.. No courage to take any alternative routes..

And now after Uni, people go on to become PMEBs, and so I have been looking for some silly executive job. I don't mind just being some retail associate -euphemism for salesgirl. But Singapore is so so so small that I am bound to meet people I know everyday. It's like, you just can't be a graduate and be a sales girl after that.. Ya, I am chickening out of the tough private sector. Why spend everyday of my life from now being challenged and stressed this way.. Ignore me..I have different thoughts everyday....

No more a student. No more shelter.

I am positive I would not go for Masters Studies. The way JJ struggles with his work and studies scares me.. The most short diploma and certificate courses.

Lazy to think...

****

When it comes to guys, friendships between two girls can easily be broken...Fine..I will try to understand that.

***

And it's so strange how a primary schoolmate tried to tell me about how he has no chances with his latest crush anymore. It's strange.. cos when we were in secondary school, he used to have a crush on me till we went JC, till I was attached to my first boyfren. From what I know, after me, he continued to have crushes on other girls and till now, he still holds a record of zero girlfriend. He's nice! I can trust him. He's intelligent! But..He talks about himself too much, and not listen to me much. -- Penalizing himself... He would tell me how many pumpings he did each day. How much weights he lifted.. how long a distance he ran.. yea.. spare me.. that's like telling me about soccer.. Most girls like to have more attention and like guys to listen to them...

***

It's 2am..JJ's going to scold me again tmr if I sleep at 6am again... :p Sleep at daybreak and wake up in the late afternoon -- my usual routine except on days when I have appointments. Nowadays, I am walling myself up to my friends... I would only meet people and friends who will have a positive contribution to my life now.

For instance, I have a female friend that I have known for donkey years. Well, she is currently still studying, not graduated yet, but started looking for a job. And she kept on telling me how she needed encouragement, kept on whining about how she cannot get a job. To this.. I really feel like swearing. I am the one who has graduated for 3.5 months and yet to find employment, and yet instead of ever encouraging me, she just want me to listen to her whines and encourage her. Sorry, I am not selfless. I have been quite a good friend thus far. But yup, not now when I am most sensitive. So, I blatantly told her that I am in an anti-social mode and don't want to talk to anyone.