Today is going to be the last day of my temp job. Feel a little sad that it is coming to an end. I must have known at least 20 new people from the resort hotels, island development people etc..

I didn't quite try to grasp the opportunities offered to me. I was mostly myself and did not try to impress anyone of my calibre, especially my direct ' superiors'. Among these people, my direct superiors are the ones that I bothered least with. Not that I don't like them, just that our difference in positions just make me feel a little awkward to totally being myself when with them. Whatever whatever.

Anyway, I realise that some guys like to 'touch' me here and there (not sensitive areas) when speaking to me. Sounds misleading, let me explain further. It's like when they speak to me, they will come into contact with my hair, arm, hand, back etc briefly.. Aiyah, too friendly lah. If JJ sees it , he will be pissed.

Yesterday, one of the visitors to the booths kept saying that he likes the way I pronounce the word "tour" and proceeded to try to mimic me. I was pretty amused of course.

Some small triumphs in life really make me realise that I have grown up and half ready to step into the tough working world. Just in case any of those people happen to chance upon my blog, I shall not describe them.

And... a part of me has always thought of going into the tourism industry. This part has been further augmented through this temp job when they are all from the industry. IT really means a lot to me to see the world and experience life beyond Singapore. This would be the most economical and efficient way. But, I am not single. There is JJ... and our relationship is just not strong enough for me to weather such conditions. First, he will oppose the job. Eventually, he will feel so lonely that I am often not around that he will look to his other friends, including his tons of female friends for company and God knows who else. I don't know. I have no faith in him, and I know I am not being paranoid or pessimisitic, but realistic with regards to this issue. So depressing, shall not talk about it anymore.

Why do I keep meeting R everywhere I go? Can he just disappear? Met him when I go Zouk, Orchard.. Each time I will make sure he doesn't see me. I can imagine that I would stand before him, feel nauseous, feel disgusted with myself. I cannot come to terms with the fact that I have once liked him so much before. A screw must have gone loose. An example to exemplify my point. He and his friends would go Pierce Reservoir's carpark to watch couples make out in their cars there. According to him, his friends suggested, so he went along. Aw.. I am totally disgusted. He does a lot other loserfied stuff. Thank God JJ came along, else I might have gotten together with R!!!! Eeeeks!!!! I had the best bf in the world --my first bf, but I didn't treasure him.. So, sigh.. *shrug** Thus everything that happened and is happening after my first relationship...

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At the recent interview I went to. Two ladies interviewed me. Freaked me out. One the human resource manager, the other acting sales and marketing director. Anyway, they suddenly commented that I looked very different from the photo in my resume which I looked very sweet in. Wah lau.. hahaha.. Sigh.. I admit the photo looks not bad. I wore spectacles, a sweet smile and the colours helped to0..instead of the usual black suit against blue or white background, I was wearing light yellow, against hot pink backdrop with red specs and blusher and bright hair. You get the picture. I looked more "alive" and cheerful.

But that also implies that I look like shit in real life. In the past, people tell me that I look a lot better in person and I should stop discounting myself with my photos. But, now, it seems I look better in photos. Not just because of the interview incident. I already tried not to put my best photo in my resume. I had a few better ones, but didn't want there to be too much of a difference when they see me in person.

By the way, I have been confidently telling the entire world I am effectively billingual all these years. I just realised I am not anymore. In fact, my command of both chinese and english has deteriorated!! I was a natural distinction girl for Chinese since my PSLE all the way through Olevels and Alevels, without having to try much. I know my inadequacy in both written and spoken english and thus try to improve myself. And I succeeded, because I was regarded as being eloquent in English by peers and all. But my standard has been sliding bad for English. Due to the attention given to English, I haven't spoken much or read much Chinese such that I have difficulty in this language as well now. You get what I mean. Aarghh..Time to do something about this.

So...I went to buy "I" magazine and started reading aloud yesterday night. Hiaks.. hahahhaha... Today, I shall be more concious of the English I speak, and interact with some people in Chinese more fluently.

wow..I took half an hour to type this. Gosh..