looming dark clouds

I don't get it. What constitutes a private life? I am not with him 24 hours. He still does what he likes. He still watch his soccer, play his billiard, surf his net, and chat with his friends. What shit personal space does he want?

It's been 6 hours since we last contacted each other. Yea, a cold war is unofficially on. I have 3 interviews all timings clash with each other tomorrow. I am very stressed and unhappy that I am not getting a job. Has he been giving me any comfort at all? "Just send out more resumes" he said coldly.

Aiyah. Whatever.

One of the last kind of guys I want is those that demands privacy and personal space. He said I am just too afriad to be hurt. Of course! If I don' t protect myself, who would? No one would. I went through so much in the past. I am terrified of what guys can do to me. Personally witnessing rampant unfaithfulness, how could I not fear. I wouldn't feel this insecure with every single guy. But for him, yes. Because he already betrayed my trust twice in the 4 months we are together. Why does he still expect me to trust him blindly? He can love me a lot today, and be the very same person who hurt me like hell days later. It's so common. No blood relations, not much obligations.

I shall not blog anymore.....................

I was out celebrating my friend's birthday. The entire time, I was bothered, but couldn't quite show it. I checked my handphone throughout the entire time for his messages, but there were none.

I am depressed. Cheer up Girl, find a job and you will be happy. Just preoccupy with making money, money isn't going to break your heart. But boys will.

If you are single again. Cheer up. Go do what you always wanted to do. Work in the tourism industry!

God... my heart is crying again....