More ups than downs, I guess
"It is not a crime to prance around pretty with make up. It is a crime to let urself remain ugly when u can make yourself look better." ~~ Xiaxue
That's a quote from a famous blog. She sure writes with wit, not really referring to the 2 lines above though they are very true.
I lost my M.A.C concealer!!!!! Some days' back, I lost a new ZA product which I didn't even get to use. This is weird, I am seldom such a muddlehead.
Anyway, JJ's mommy was horrified to see the condition of my face without make up this afternoon. She immediately went down to buy some medicinal stuff, cooked and made me drink it - those drinks with "cooling" properties. She planned to make me drink twice a week, cos I don't go to their house often. Also in her plans for me stop using my existing pimple cream. She's getting me another brand that I haven't heard of. Ok, I will listen to her.. haha.. After all, she's got excellent complexion even at the age of 48. Though, I think the credit goes to her good genes.
LAughed my way into 2005 with JJ watching "Meet the Fockers". Guess what, I didn't laugh at all in the first episode. I was actually bored then.
We have not be quarrelling for sometime.. YayYayYaY!!! We have been more sensitive to each other's feelings, less self absorbed and more giving.
Extract from a conversation on msn with JJ earlier.
ME: anyway.. i am very happy that we haven't been quarrellng recently
JJ: haha.ya
Me: ya know.. u have your superstition..I have mine too. U put away my photos in your drawer and shift the photoframe away from your table.
JJ: well... my supersition works mah. Whats ur supersition?
ME: i change ur display name in my hp to J*****. or maybe it's cos I decided to pray abt our relationship.
JJ's friend told him that a couple in relationship should not place their photos on their personal tables at home, or they will quarrel incessantly. He told me this long time ago. Recently, I realised he really put my photos away.. Hilarious. I don't know the logic though.
I was doing the same coincidentally too. I have none of his photos displayed in my room. And I changed his name in my handphone. It used to be J*****, his name by birth. I changed it to 'My Prince' sometime after getting together. On one occasion after an argument, I cried and deleted all the messages he sent me and changed the name on back to J*****. I do that when I am very pessimistic about the relationship. Anyway, the time when his name was just J***** in my hp, we were the happiest together. I shall let that be. This is my superstition. Hiakzz..
If you think we are dumb to be superstitious. Well, actually, it's all the works of Psychology and I know. I am sure God answered my prayer too. (Well, some of you might still think this is yet another superstition, but I personally believe the former is, not the latter.) If you are smart enough, you would be able to analyze the situation without my explanation. Anyway, my blog is more of a personal one. I don't have the time nor whatever else it takes to be an entertaining blogger. So, don't need to try to explain the psychology issue.
****
I have been over the moon some things JJ said recently. On one occasion, he asked me never to look down on him. I asked him not to look down on me too. On that, he said, "Actually, I think you are very clever, but you just lack discipline. Ooops!" Whose opinion carries more weight to me but that of my beau. It's a million times more flattering than when he says that I am beautiful in his eyes.
Another joyful bit of our conversation.
Me: Why have you never said that you feel lucky to have me as your girlfriend before?
JJ: I don't say doesn't mean I don't feel so.
ME: Why would you feel lucky anway?
JJ: cos you really love me alot
JJ: with all your heart
ME: hee
JJ: you are stubborn, but you do try to change for me
I will never know if he was stressed into telling me that he feels lucky. It is certainly most unpolitically correct to say otherwise. Still the part that he said he feels that I love him a lot must be true. Though the irony is that I, myself, do not know if I really love him with all my heart. I have changed so much that I did not realise it myself.
There is hope for my relationship again..
Today after he finished his assignment, he wanted to sleep, but I wanted to cycle. So he rang4 me. He jogged while I cycled. I set the gear to the second most tedious level so that I can work out my legs more. There were a mere few beads of perspiration after 3km. So, JJ waited for me at one end while I continued to cycle more. Wish I had my track shoes with me so that I could run.
I can't stand having a marshmallowy tummy, albeit flat. I can't stand the slack skin on my upper arms and face -- due to weight loss without exercising. For many years of my life, I was fit. Once you have tasted having a body that is toned, you just can't stand it when it becomes flabby.
Once, I was talking to two girlfriends about our past CCAs. I said I was from basketball in JC. The two of them looked at me in disbelief and suggested that I was bluffing them. Imagine my mannerisms and appearance now. I applied sunblock on my arms when I am out in the sun from office to go to lunch. The door always looks too heavy for me to push open. etcetc..
JJ would never know what I was like when young or even in SMU if I don't tell him. People just think that I am gentle, no temper, demure, easily bullied, quiet and I quote"rather reserved in nature". MAdness..
Told JJ that I want to show him my trophies won from track and field back in primary school days. They are mostly rusty already though. Yeah, only primary school unfortunately. Was more into music in secondary school, didn't do sports competitively. In JC did sports again.
God and JJ's opinions matter most.
I am crazy.. it's 5am..I am crazy..... I know the main culprit of my disastrous complexion is late night sleeping. I am going to get a job asap, so that I would start sleeping regularly.
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