Much about JJ & I, as usual

The card JJ gave me for first month as shown in my very first post. The rose dried up..

The purple photoalbum was bought in Popular to house photos, tix etc of JJ and I. This was the album I had to decorate the other time. He said very plain, and I was quite sianzz..because it's just so typical of him to criticise this and that. Seldom do stuff I do ever look good. I complained.. and he said that his "plain" doesn't mean ugly, yadayadayadar..I was doing it alone for the entire night, he could at least have showed some appreciation for my efforts.. but all I heard was "So plain.."

Ya know, I can't be bothered to reason with him anymore, because it's tiring and he has to win all arguments. (Even though if will strongly deny this.)But after the argument, he will try to change. I just realised this.. haha.. Just let him win the argument, don't waste breath and prolong the heat by reasoning with him. Cos what I want is him to treat and speak to me more nicely. After letting him win the argument, I get what I somehow get what I want, that is he will try to change, not totally, but improving..Reminding myself not to kick up a fuss when angry.. I don't feel that I kicked up a fuss, but well....If I am angry or upset, the best way is to speak in those sweet gentle tone when making unpleasant comments.

Anyway, he went on to add on more decor to the album. Got to see it today, really looks a lot better than mine.. haha..Feeling a little ashamed of myself. I am the girl, but his 'art and craft' always beats mine!

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JJ tried to give me a clue too many for my X'mas gift.

1. Not colourful
2. Something I would win on certain days
3. Costs more than twice of my weekly allowance
4. Bulky

The fifth he unknowingly divulged. He asked me to be at home at 4.30pm this Friday. At 4.30pm, he would be working still. Why 4.30pm? So the 5th Clue..

5. It requires home delivery.

Guess what the present is?

A HiFi !!! hahahhaa... what a BIG present..

He was very disappointed this morning when I told him my guess. Told him earlier that I am good at guessing even without clues.

I went to get the Springfield shirt, but it ran out of sizes. Stressed. I am feeling very stressed about his X'mas present.. Don't want to disappoint him. Sigh, now I have nothing to buy!!!!!!!!! Saw a black shirt at Zara $90.. I might buy that along with black socks (cos his socks got hole.hee) and boxers (I dunno if he owns any though..).

But he asked me if I were going to buy him a shirt for X'mas.. Cos I wasn't quite discreet in checking out his shirt size. So, there would be no surprise!!! ~~Stressed~~

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I didn't want to accept JJ at the start. First time I met him, I told myself, "Very charming and from similar, actually higher, educational background as me. But he has too many gfs before and I don't like to have a goodlooking boyfriend!!!" I am not surprised if girls start throwing themselves at him. Serious! No use worrying but.. Howhow?? Problem with having an eligible boyfriend. Other girls don't know his not-so-nice side, so will still be charmed to him... If he were so good, his 5 ex gfs wouldn't have left him. Girls say he is boring and he's afraid that I would think he's boring too.

Shall not go further into this..Sometimes, I wonder whether I should even be spending time writing so much. What do I get out of it?

This entry is long.. I better go sleep now. It doesn't help thinking about all these. Going to pray about it.. I am very very insecure in this relationship. I guess the two major problems are that he's quite selfish and that I feel insecure.