Maybe there is something wrong with me.

Of all the mothers of my past boyfriends and husband, there are 3 I cannot get along with. Only 1 I find kind and can live with. Unfortunately, this kind one isn't my husband's mother. So I have been suffering.

I AM SUFFERING.

My husband's brother is getting married. His wife-to-be is said to be 34 years old. It keeps changing - her age, so I'm not sure. Anyway, from my observations, she does not give in to my mother-in-law and gets her way, but she has not been criticised yet. Why hur? Issit because of my age or character I always kena harsh comments, yellings and the shit. I think the main reasons are that she does not have a child yet and not stay with the difficult one. She also has the husband whose words carry much more weight than my husband's. Her husband -my brother-in-law will protect and side her if the difficult one is being unfair to her, while my husband will ask me to put up with it, or even blame me at times. Oh and maybe the difficult one respects the 34-yr-old daughter-in-law-to-be more because they have only known each other a few months and the former tends to distant herself for everyone in the family. And most importantly, this 34-yr-old daughter-in-law-to-be is said to earn about 8K a month. Yet to be confirmed. She speaks with such a horrible slang typical that of a neighbouring country. And I just totally find her loathsome.

Are you confused? I have been very annoyed with both the 34-yr-old daughter-in-law-to-be and the mother-in-law. Especially when the former commented that primary school teachers don't earn much. DAMN HER. and the latter also seem to respect the rumoured high waged earner more. So, I have not been speaking to the 34-yr-old one. I am 8 years her junior, why compare my salary with her? Damn. Anyway, I have had two salary increments and bonuses, but I am not going to be so stupid as to let my mother-in-law know ever again. I was so stupid to tell her my pay the previous time. Maybe she should be reminded of how much I used to earn before i become a teacher.

And so, I have not been talking to that 34-yr-old one. I don't even acknowledge her presence each time she comes to the house. Don't expect me to call her jiejie. She needs to earn that respect. I don't call people whom I dislike. I guess she did notice my hostility judging from her gazes each time we met.

Tomorrow is her day for R.O.M. I don't want to go but it's unwise not to. So, I'll be going with no well wishes, but to chat up with the other relatives.

I want a house of my own. I have been waiting way too long. This May, even if the pricing for housing is still up high, I will buy one. I don't caRE. I AM SUFFERING.

Have you read the book by Roald Dahl - The Twits. Or something, I cannot really remember. IT's about a couple growing uglier and uglier because they kept harbouring unkind thoughts. EVerytime I wish for bad things to happen to the 34-yr-old one, I will be reminded of this story. I won't wish bad to befall my mother-in-law no matter how difficult she is though.